{"id":26142,"date":"2024-05-20T08:00:18","date_gmt":"2024-05-20T08:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/progyny.com\/?post_type=podcast&#038;p=26142"},"modified":"2024-05-20T19:14:25","modified_gmt":"2024-05-20T19:14:25","slug":"episode-183","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/podcast\/episode-183\/","title":{"rendered":"Episode 183: Overcoming the Emotional Toll of Infertility"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"template":"","categories":[275,230,229],"tags":[225,235,480,358,490],"class_list":["post-26142","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-emotional-support-and-awareness","category-education","category-ivf-facts","tag-infertility","tag-ivf","tag-need-for-employer-sponsored-fertility-benefit","tag-progyny-member","tag-unexplained-infertility"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Episode 183: Overcoming 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about us trying to get pregnant made me feel out of control. IVF, actually made me feel like we were in control.","episode_intro_guest":"Hana Peters","episode_intro_company":"Progyny Member at Salesforce","episode_banner_section_intro_text":"This is Infertility is a bi-weekly podcast where we fuse narrative storytelling with experience and science to give you a new perspective on what it\u2019s really like to go through a family building journey. Each episode dives into the emotional, physical, and financial burdens carried by those who experience infertility on their path to parenthood. Be it IVF, IUI, egg freezing, surrogacy, adoption, etc., the path is never the same and it can be long, painful, and lonely. It\u2019s our mission to give those struggling a platform to be heard, a community connection, and an opportunity to raise awareness of the 1 in 6 who, for many reasons, struggle with infertility.","episode_page_title":"Episode 183: Overcoming the Emotional Toll of Infertility","episode_embed_code":"<iframe style=\"border: none;\" title=\"Embed Player\" src=\"https:\/\/play.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/31076023\/height\/128\/theme\/modern\/size\/standard\/thumbnail\/yes\/custom-color\/ffffff\/time-start\/00:00:00\/playlist-height\/200\/direction\/backward\/download\/yes\/stats-code\/landing183\/font-color\/151515\" width=\"100%\" height=\"128\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>","episode_details":"<span data-contrast=\"auto\">Today\u2019s episode highlights the emotional toll that infertility can take on individuals and couples. Our guest speaks candidly on how her fertility journey affected her mental health, marriage, and perspective towards friends who found easy success with pregnancy.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span class=\"ui-provider a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z ab ac ae af ag ah ai aj ak\" dir=\"ltr\">Hana Peters and her husband started trying to have a baby and soon realized they needed to seek additional support. In this episode, Hana shares her journey. She speaks on the unsolicited advice she received along the way and how this impacted her relationships, her initial reaction to a diagnosis of unexplained infertility, and how <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">she was able to pursue parenthood with a dedicated doctor and through her employer-sponsored benefit, Progyny.<\/a><\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">For mental health support and resources, check out:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Progyny Article: <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/coping-with-stress-during-fertility-care\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Coping with stress during fertility care<\/span><\/a><\/li>\r\n \t<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">This is Infertility Podcast episode: <\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\"><a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/podcast\/bonus-10\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Bonus Episode 10<\/a>: Prioritizing Your Mental Health During Your Fertility Journey<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Employer guide: <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/download\/how-to-support-employees-with-infertility-mental-health-guide\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">How to support employees with infertility mental health guide<\/span><\/a><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Guest: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Hana Peters, Progyny Member at Salesforce<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Host: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Dan Bulger, Progyny<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">For more information, visit Progyny\u2019s Podcast page and <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.progyny.com\/education\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Progyny\u2019s Education page<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram, @ThisisInfertilityPodcast and use the #ThisisInfertility. Have a question, comment, or want to share your story? Email us at <\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\"><a href=\"mailto:thisisinfertility@progyny.com\">thisisinfertility@progyny.com<\/a>.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">This episode is also a video! Watch it here:<\/span>\r\n\r\nhttps:\/\/youtu.be\/o_-IvppWYK0\r\n\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>The toll on marriage<\/b><\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">02:57 \u2013 04:28<\/span>\r\n<div style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Hana Peters:<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> After a few months of not...not trying, we started to, like, actually try and do it by the clock, if you will. It was about almost a year into that, that I was like, this isn't happening, you know, and this is not really great for our marriage, either. Trying to have a baby is fun until it's not anymore. And it becomes a chore and something you have to do on a schedule. And it took a toll on us. I would cry every single month when I would either get a negative test or, you know, I was very clearly not pregnant. And he would say, It's okay. We'll try again next month. And my husband is very even keeled. And I am very not. We're a really nice balance of each other in that way. So, he was really huge and able to keep me calm throughout it. It was more just like a, we can do this together. We can figure this out. Like it's been a long time. And that's okay, maybe it's gonna be next month, and it was a lot of just alright, let's go get next go around, you know, but I feel very lucky that I have someone that was super supportive.<\/span><\/div>\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>The toll on friendship<\/b><\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">05:05 \u2013 06:40<\/span>\r\n<div style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Hana Peters:<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> I didn't really want to tell everybody that we were trying because I didn't want everyone to constantly ask me like, if they noticed, I wasn't drinking or something like is now the time? So, we only told a few friends. And even that was hard because at first, they were super supportive. But then you get the advice of just relax or go on vacation, or take Mucinex or eat more pineapple or try not to stress about it which \u2014 word to the wise if anyone hears this \u2014 don't say that to people, whether you know they're struggling to get pregnant or not. I've learned a lot in this process about what you shouldn't say to women or couples because it\u2019s quite triggering. Then you start getting in your head like maybe I <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"none\">should<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"none\"> just relax, put the calendar away, take Mucinex or whatever it is. And then when you try those things that your friends who easily get pregnant tell you to do and then it doesn\u2019t work, it\u2019s just another little chip away at the disappointment when you get the negative pregnancy test. So, he and I would commiserate on how hard those things were to hear. I didn't expect him to like empathize so well with that. But he did. And, you know, it was kind of nice to be like angry at comments together, like that actually helped us get through it.<\/span><\/div>\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>A good benefit &amp; a great doctor<\/b><\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">07:33 \u2013 12:08<\/span>\r\n<div style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Hana Peters:<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> I booked an appointment and got tested. And my egg count was above average for my age. And I was like, okay, okay, that's a good start. Got the saline infusion ultrasound to see if my tubes were blocked. Long story short, everything came back normal. So, the next step was getting my husband tested. And my husband came back completely normal, above average for his age, and we ended up getting diagnosed with unexplained infertility.<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">I learned from my doctor, that is actually a diagnosis that they really like. My doctor, Dr. Patel, was like, this is great! We're going to be able to solve for this. This means we have so many options to help you get pregnant. And she was like, hey, you want to freeze your eggs anyway, right? Because I want more than one child, I'm getting older. And I was like, yes, I do. And she's like, well, why don't we just go straight to IVF? I think generally, people would, you know, do IUI first and maybe do a couple rounds of IUI first, because it's cheaper than IVF. A lot cheaper than IVF. But it was in that moment when she said, IVF that I learned that I have Progyny.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Dan Bulger: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">They did IVF. Hana responded wonderfully. They ended up with several PGT-A tested healthy embryos, transferred one.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Hana Peters:<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> I got a call from Dr. Patel. I was in Target, the smack middle of Target and I answered the phone, and she said, Hannah, you're pregnant. And I just I'm telling you, those people probably thought someone told me that someone died because I was bawling, crying, I ran out of Target.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<\/div>","episode_host_image":22677,"episode_host_title":"Dan Bulger, Producer at Progyny","episode_host_bio":"Dan has been in the healthcare industry for the past ten plus years as a multimedia content producer. Better known as \u2018Video Dan\u2019 he has interviewed numerous doctors, patients and other experts in the world of fertility. He\u2019s also the producer for this podcast, This is Infertility and the producer behind the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/progyny\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"exc\" aria-label=\"Progyny YouTube Channel - opens in new tab\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"na\">\u00a0Progyny YouTube Channel<\/a>\u00a0which features interviews with dozens of the nation\u2019s leading fertility specialists. On a personal note Dan\u2019s parents started fostering kids when he was four years old, and he considers himself a proud older brother to over 100 foster children.","episode_guest_1_image":26143,"episode_guest_1_title":"Hana Peters, Salesforce and Progyny member","episode_guest_1_bio":"Hana, a proud member of the TTC community, struggled with and was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. She has undergone multiple rounds of IVF, has one healthy 2 year old boy thanks to her treatment, and another son on the way (also thanks to IVF). It was not until she gave birth to her first son that she was ultimately diagnosed with Endometriosis which felt like some answers to \u201cunexplained\u201d, finally. Hana is passionate about speaking up and being vocal about infertility in an effort to make those going through it not feel so alone. She refers to this community as \u2019the club no one wants to be a part of\u2019, but a club nonetheless. She knows all too well how it can feel as if everyone around you is getting pregnant, and just how isolating that can be. Hana is fortunate to have found a group of friends and co-workers who share her experience, and she credits her company for giving her the ability to grow her family. 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