{"id":24832,"date":"2023-06-05T14:11:07","date_gmt":"2023-06-05T14:11:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/progyny.com\/?post_type=podcast&#038;p=24832"},"modified":"2024-04-23T11:06:20","modified_gmt":"2024-04-23T11:06:20","slug":"episode-159","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/podcast\/episode-159\/","title":{"rendered":"Episode 159: LGBTQ+ Family Building: Pride and Path to xHood"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"template":"","categories":[275,451],"tags":[375,331,314],"class_list":["post-24832","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-emotional-support-and-awareness","category-family-building","tag-bipoc","tag-inclusive","tag-pride"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Episode 159: LGBTQ+ Family Building: Pride and Path to xHood | Progyny<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mia Cooley, a Black, 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X in front of xHood could mean motherhood, fatherhood, whatever parenthood looks like for you.","episode_intro_guest":"Mia Cooley","episode_intro_company":"xHood","episode_banner_section_intro_text":"This is Infertility is a bi-weekly podcast where we fuse narrative storytelling with experience and science to give you a new perspective on what it\u2019s really like to go through a family building journey. Each episode dives into the emotional, physical, and financial burdens carried by those who experience infertility on their path to parenthood. Be it IVF, IUI, egg freezing, surrogacy, adoption, etc., the path is never the same and it can be long, painful, and lonely. It\u2019s our mission to give those struggling a platform to be heard, a community connection, and an opportunity to raise awareness of the 1 in 6 who, for many reasons, struggle with infertility.","episode_page_title":"Episode 159: LGBTQ+ Family Building: Pride and Path to xHood","episode_embed_code":"<iframe style=\"border: none;\" title=\"Embed Player\" src=\"https:\/\/play.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/26930220\/height\/128\/theme\/modern\/size\/standard\/thumbnail\/yes\/custom-color\/ffffff\/time-start\/00:00:00\/playlist-height\/200\/direction\/backward\/download\/yes\/stats-code\/landing159\" width=\"100%\" height=\"128\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>","episode_details":"<span data-contrast=\"auto\">June is Pride Month and with all the different<\/span> <a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/choosing-your-path-to-parenthood-lgbtq-family-building-options\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">paths to parenthood available for LGBTQ+ couples and individuals<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, <\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">it\u2019s a great time to elevate these voices within the community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">Today\u2019s episode features Mia Cooley, a Black, queer, mother of three whose desire to connect with families that looked like hers, created an inclusive community called xHood.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">xHood is a safe space that supports Black and queer families through the journey of parenthood. It\u2019s an area that\u2019s often challenged by a lack of representation in the healthcare industry, in parenting groups, and even in local communities. The frustration of feeling ostracized has motivated Mia to create a center for advice, a venue for resources, a starting point for advocation in the workplace, and just a space vent.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">In this episode, Mia shares why she started this organization, details of the annual Black Parent Pride Summit, and her path to parenthood.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Guest: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Mia Cooley, Founder of xHood<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Host: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Dan Bulger, Progyny<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">For more information, visit Progyny\u2019s Podcast page and <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.progyny.com\/education\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Progyny\u2019s Education page<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram, @ThisisInfertilityPodcast and use the #ThisisInfertility. Have a question, comment, or want to share your story? Email us at <\/span><a href=\"mailto:thisisinfertility@progyny.com\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">thisisinfertility@progyny.com<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">Here are some highlights from this episode:<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>Great Solutions Start with Great Flaws<\/b><\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">01:52 \u2013 06:24<\/span>\r\n<div style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Mia Cooley: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">That X in front of xHood could mean motherhood, fatherhood, whatever parenthood looks like for you. I am a mother of three by birth and blend. So, our youngest is four years old. And then we have a nine-year-old and a 16-year-old that are from a previous relationship from my former partner.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">As a Black-queer parent, a lot of challenges were just around building up what our village was going to look like, so it takes more than just what's inside of your household to be a successful parent. And as a Black and queer parent, it was hard to find spaces where our family dynamic was uplifted and prioritized and didn't feel like we were being ostracized. If you think of like mommy communities, even down to pediatricians, it was hard to find people that were life affirming for our family. I knew that that would be a challenge. Then the next thing, you know, as we are trying to conceive was finding a Black donor. They're probably what feels like 10 across all of your major sperm and cryobanks. And so, thinking about, how high the priority or quality of the list was for us. Just really a major gap in available Black donors.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Dan Bulger: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Yes, this is a serious issue that I think isn't really talked about all that much. Finding a donor with a similar background is something that many put right at the top of their wish list. But there are significant gaps in the donor pool across the country.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Mia Cooley: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">When you think about marketing from a sperm or egg bank\u2019s perspective, you're going after the community that has said, you know, we are willing and have the capacity to spend money on babies, and the babies that we want are non-Black or White babies with blue eyes, and blonde hair and kind of all those characteristics. So, then our Black community has been left out of that conversation compounded by our distrust of the healthcare industry and providers.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>xHood<\/b><\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">07:54\u2013 10:42<\/span>\r\n<div style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Dan Bulger: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">She says she wasn't exactly looking to start an organization in the community, she was just looking for people to talk to.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Mia Cooley: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">I wanted us to be able to hang out with families that looked like ours. And that's really where it started. And we were just facing a lot of racism and homophobia. And we were building a village and just finding our support. So, I just started a space, and I didn't care if it was like me and three other families. And for a minute, it was just that. It started off being selfish, I wanted to hang out with families that look like ours, and then have grown to how do we solve these problems? The plethora of problems within our community. What can we do, as community managers and leaders, to kind of address those issues.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">People ask, \u201cdo you have rules in your community?\u201d We don\u2019t. If you're just looking for a space to vent and you don't really want advice or input from others, if you're looking for connections and resources, or a recommendation. We just kind of hold space for you. And then we have a directory that we hold that connects you with providers, adoption support, legal support, assisted reproduction, or even with like, you know, navigating the conversation with your employer about like, what fertility benefits needs to look like for you and for our families, for you to feel like your workplace is providing an equitable chance for you to meet the goals for your family as well.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>Ideas Become Reality<\/b><\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"auto\">11:50 \u2013 16:08<\/span>\r\n<div style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Dan Bulger: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">The xHood community is big, and it's growing. And Mia sees a future where xHood becomes a parent and child ecosystem for the Black and queer community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Mia Cooley: <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">That will look like anything from us being able to find like in-house doulas, and midwives to maybe at some point, a birthing center of our own. And going through the process now of building out our web platform, thinking about what options for telehealth might look like through xHood and how we can kind of be the resource. So, I'm not sure if you're familiar, but the Black community, the places that we live the most are often quite far from fertility providers, and assisted reproduction specialists. We're thinking about what it might look like to build our own network of those supporters.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Mia Cooley:<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> At the Black Parent Pride Summit, we spent two days in Atlanta connecting with one another, connecting with external products and service providers that have been intentional and saying, like, \u201chey, we can kind of acknowledge where we have not prioritized your community or how we can better show up for you.\u201d So just really gave us the space to be on the main stage and talk specifically about the parenting issues that relate to us. And then as leaders, we got to reflect, to learn what we heard from those conversations. Even with, you know, the Black Parent Pride Summit, I didn't know how meaningful it would be to everyone, like I had this idea, I felt like it would be cool. That people would feel it to be worthy. But I didn't imagine bringing out over 100 families, I didn't imagine how our sponsors and partners would really be able to connect with our community members. And you know, just get them to the next step. And then I think what was most meaningful for me was how our, trans community showed up, and they were like, wow, we didn't expect to have space that felt like it was good for us.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<\/div>","episode_host_image":22642,"episode_host_title":"Dan Bulger, Producer at Progyny","episode_host_bio":"Dan has been in the healthcare industry for the past ten plus years as a multimedia content producer. Better known as \u2018Video Dan\u2019 he has interviewed numerous doctors, patients and other experts in the world of fertility. He\u2019s also the producer for this podcast, This is Infertility and the producer behind the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/progyny\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"exc\" aria-label=\"Progyny YouTube Channel - opens in new tab\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"\">\u00a0Progyny YouTube Channel<\/a>\u00a0which features interviews with dozens of the nation\u2019s leading fertility specialists. On a personal note Dan\u2019s parents started fostering kids when he was four years old, and he considers himself a proud older brother to over 100 foster children.","episode_guest_1_image":24833,"episode_guest_1_title":"Mia Cooley, Founder of xHood","episode_guest_1_bio":"Mia Cooley is a community builder and parenting coach. She specializes in supporting Black and\/or Queer families through all of those special and at times frustrating moments on the journey to and through babies. 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