{"id":20728,"date":"2021-10-25T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-10-25T10:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/progyny.com\/?page_id=20728"},"modified":"2024-04-23T10:44:53","modified_gmt":"2024-04-23T10:44:53","slug":"episode-119","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/podcast\/episode-119\/","title":{"rendered":"Episode 119: Miscarriage Awareness: The Grief and Strength of a Late-Term Loss"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"template":"","categories":[275,271,230],"tags":[286,219,224],"class_list":["post-20728","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-support-and-awareness","category-female-infertility","category-education","tag-miscarriage","tag-podcast","tag-pregnancy-loss"],"yoast_head":"\nEpisode 119: Miscarriage Awareness: The Grief and Strength of a Late-Term Loss | Progyny<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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you're grieving, just allow yourself to go through all of the stages, because they're real.","episode_intro_guest":"","episode_intro_company":"","episode_banner_section_intro_text":"This is Infertility is a bi-weekly podcast where we fuse narrative storytelling with experience and science to give you a new perspective on what it\u2019s really like to go through a family building journey. Each episode dives into the emotional, physical, and financial burdens carried by those who experience infertility on their path to parenthood. Be it IVF, IUI, egg freezing, surrogacy, adoption, etc., the path is never the same and it can be long, painful, and lonely. It\u2019s our mission to give those struggling a platform to be heard, a community connection, and an opportunity to raise awareness of the 1 in 6 who, for many reasons, struggle with infertility.","episode_page_title":"Episode 119: Miscarriage Awareness: The Grief and Strength of a Late-Term Loss ","episode_embed_code":"<iframe style=\"border: none;\" title=\"Libsyn Player\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/20361494\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/8f4b9b\/stats-code\/progynylandingpage-119\/\" width=\"100%\" height=\"90\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>","episode_details":"<span data-contrast=\"none\">Molly Ryman was nearing her due date with her second daughter, who she and her husband, Matt, had named Mabel, when suddenly, the baby stopped moving. An ultrasound revealed Mabel\u2019s heart had stopped beating. Molly,\u00a0Matt\u00a0and their daughter were left to pick up the pieces.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month so this week, Molly sat down with her friend and our colleague, Lissa Kline, for a deeply personal\u00a0conversation about\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/blog\/blog\/emotional-recovery-from-loss-how-to-move-forward\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">pregnancy\u00a0loss<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, grief, motherhood,\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/emotional-support-and-awareness\/6-tips-on-how-to-find-a-therapist\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">strength, and the importance of connections<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\"><strong>Guest<\/strong>:\u00a0Molly Ryman, Actress<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\"><strong>Host:<\/strong>\u00a0Lissa Kline, Progyny\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">For more information, visit\u202fProgyny\u2019s\u202f<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.progyny.com\/podcast\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Podcast page<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">and\u202f<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Progyny\u2019s Education page\u202f<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">for more resources.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":240}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">Be sure to follow us on Instagram,\u202f<\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/thisisinfertilitypodcast\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">@ThisisInfertilityPodcast<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">and use the\u202f#ThisisInfertility.\u202f\u202f\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":240}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">Have a question, comment, or want to share your story? Email us at\u202f<\/span><a href=\"mailto:thisisinfertility@progyny.com\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">thisisinfertility@progyny.com<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">.<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":240}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span data-contrast=\"none\">Here are some highlights from this episode:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>A late-term miscarriage\r\n<\/b><\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">4:01 \u2013\u00a09:18<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Molly Ryman:<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0Everything looked\u00a0absolutely perfect. And then I remember one night, it was a Tuesday\u00a0at the\u00a0very end of my pregnancy, and I had not felt her move that day.\u00a0So\u00a0I got into bed and told my husband, Matt, but the next morning I had an ultrasound so I figured I would mention it then.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">The next day, the technician wanted to check her out and make sure she was fine. I got in there and got hooked up \u2013 I still can\u2019t believe this happened \u2013 but she just said, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry\u201d. I could see that her heart wasn\u2019t beating \u2026 and then I just started screaming.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">I blacked out a little bit after that, but my husband\u00a0came\u00a0and the doctor talked us through\u00a0next\u00a0steps. What happened was, and this wasn\u2019t\u00a0confirmed\u00a0until she was delivered, there is\u00a0this jelly that coats the\u00a0umbilical\u00a0cord, and there just happened to be a spot on the cord that didn\u2019t have that jelly and it just twisted and went around her neck.\u00a0I still feel like I don\u2019t understand and relive it quite a bit.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>The aftermath of loss<\/b><\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\r\n<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">12:06 \u2013\u00a019:37<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Molly Ryman:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">In those first few weeks after we lost Mabel, our friends and family were always\u00a0there\u00a0and the gifts poured in. People were thinking of us and\u00a0hurting with\u00a0us, which was\u00a0really valuable\u00a0at the time. Surprisingly, though, some people did nothing or said nothing, and that really hurt.\u00a0A lot of people are afraid of saying the wrong\u00a0thing,\u00a0so they don\u2019t say anything at all when, in actuality, there\u00a0is nothing to say when it comes to this, so\u00a0an,\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d or, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say but am thinking of you,\u201d goes a long way.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Matt and I started therapy immediately, which was\u00a0really important. A lot of couples don\u2019t make it through this type of loss, so we wanted to make sure that even though we sometimes grieved differently, we were on the same team.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Around month four or five, people started to move on with their lives and stop checking in as much, which made me feel like I was stuck.\u00a0It became\u00a0really lonely. I remember a couple months after she died, I started to panic, like, no one's\u00a0going to\u00a0want to be friends with a woman whose baby died \u2013 it's just too much.\u00a0So\u00a0I posted something stupid and forced to my Facebook non-related to my loss. I wanted everyone to think, everything is fine, I am\u00a0normal. But obviously I wasn\u2019t fine. I felt this pressure to be fine.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">People started asking when we\u2019re going to have another baby, and I\u2019m\u00a0just\u00a0not there yet.\u00a0It\u2019s a very strange place to be.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><b>Triggers after loss<\/b><\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">38:33 \u2013\u00a041:05<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Lissa Kline:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">You talked about seeing baby strollers, is there any other stuff that\u00a0you\u00a0found sort of stops you in your tracks as you go through this?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Molly Ryman:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Yeah, so social media is dangerous, because you don't know what you will see. For the most part, I\u2019ve stayed off social media.\u00a0There\u2019s always news of a\u00a0pregnancy\u00a0announcement or a picture of a newborn, and it\u2019s a terrible feeling because in any other circumstance you\u2019d be elated for them, but it\u2019s very triggering for you.\u00a0So\u00a0staying off social media has been very valuable. I do go on\u00a0every\u00a0once in a\u00a0while, but I started unfollowing\u00a0people who were pregnant\u00a0because\u00a0it was too much.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">There are babies everywhere and for the most part I am okay, but I think a big part of that is because I\u00a0have my\u00a0other daughter.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">My neighbor, a couple of doors down had a baby boy, a couple weeks after Mabel, and we were pregnant together and kind of thinking that our babies would be friends. And I remember, she would check in every once in a while. And I would thank her and just say that I'm not ready to see your baby. And I thought she understood that. But then she showed up one day with him. And I actually couldn\u2019t believe it! I think her heart was in the absolute right place -- she wanted to see how I was doing. But I don't think she can understand, like, how triggering it is to see a newborn.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>","episode_host_image":22664,"episode_host_title":"Lissa Kline, LCSW, Senior Vice President, Provider and Member Services at Progyny","episode_host_bio":"<span class=\"TextRun SCXW203550819 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SpellingErrorV2 SCXW203550819 BCX0\">Lissa<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW203550819 BCX0\">\u00a0oversees the Patient Care Advocates and the Provider Relations Team. She worked at Columbia University Medical Center for several years in the division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. Involved in Patient Services and the Donor Egg Program, she loved working with patients while they underwent fertility treatment.\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SpellingErrorV2 SCXW203550819 BCX0\">Lissa<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW203550819 BCX0\">\u00a0graduated with a Master of Science in Social Work from Columbia University.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW203550819 BCX0\" data-ccp-props=\"{"201341983":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":240}\">\u00a0<\/span>","episode_guest_1_image":22665,"episode_guest_1_title":"Molly Ryman, Actress","episode_guest_1_bio":"<span data-contrast=\"none\">Molly Ryman is an actor and writer currently living in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She married her husband Matthew in 2017 and they wanted to start a family right away. Molly\u2019s first two pregnancies resulted in miscarriages, but her 3rd pregnancy gave them a beautiful baby girl. In 2020 Molly got pregnant again with another baby girl. She and her family took all precautions to keep Molly and the baby safe through the pandemic. There were no concerns and all test results showed her baby girl was healthy and in perfect condition until she went in for her\u00a039 week\u00a0ultrasound and learned the umbilical cord had\u202fbecome tangled and her baby\u2019s heart stopped. 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