{"id":17414,"date":"2020-04-10T17:10:44","date_gmt":"2020-04-10T21:10:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/progyny.com\/?p=17414"},"modified":"2020-04-10T17:10:44","modified_gmt":"2020-04-10T21:10:44","slug":"finding-your-voice-how-to-be-your-own-fertility-advocate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/progyny.com\/blog\/fertility-family-building\/finding-your-voice-how-to-be-your-own-fertility-advocate\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Your Voice: How to Be Your Own Fertility Advocate"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Written by Amanda Lesesne, Vice President, Business Development at Progyny<\/em><\/p>\n<p>For the last seven years, my husband and I have been living in the world of fertility acronyms &#8212; TTC, <a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/blog\/fertility-education\/iui\/\">IUI<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/blog\/fertility-education\/what-is-ivf\/\">IVF<\/a>, BFP, BFN, PUPO \u2013 the list goes on for a collection of letters I never thought I would need to know. Our journey to have a family has been filled with twists, turns, challenges, despair, and\u00a0moments of hope. If you are traveling some version of this path, you know how all those things can go together. I\u2019ve learned a lot in this journey but one thing that took some trial and error was learning how to step into my voice and power as an infertility patient.<\/p>\n<p>An infertility diagnosis can be incredibly overwhelming and it\u2019s something most can\u2019t anticipate. Most patients know very little on the topic unless a friend or family member has had a similar experience. I was 27 when we found out it would be difficult for us to conceive. I didn\u2019t have any friends or family to turn to, so everything I learned was from my reproductive endocrinologist and Google searches. This immediately put me in a passive position because everything I was learning was foreign. Looking back, I wish I had the tools necessary to learn how to be less passive in this journey.<\/p>\n<h3>Here are 5 things I\u2019ve learned along my journey:<\/h3>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Knowledge is power.<\/strong> It\u2019s okay that you don\u2019t know and understand everything right off the bat. Luckily, there are so many resources online that can help you.\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Books:<\/strong> There are so many awesome books about infertility or that share personal infertility journeys. I would recommend, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Starts-Egg-Pregnant-Naturally-Miscarriage\/dp\/0999676180\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">It Starts with the Egg<\/a> by Rebecca Fett, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Art-Waiting-Fertility-Medicine-Motherhood\/dp\/1555977499\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Art of Waiting: On Fertility, Medicine, and Motherhood<\/a> by Belle Boggs, and Conceivability: What I Learned Exploring the Frontiers of Fertility by Elizabeth Katkin.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Podcasts:<\/strong> Listening to other people\u2019s journeys can make you feel less alone (and occasionally bring some humor to a really tough situation). Here are some of my favorites: <a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/podcast\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">This is Infertility<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.infertilemafia.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Infertile Mafia<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/infertileaf.libsyn.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">InfertileAF<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Youtube:<\/strong> Many people have documented their experience in a vlog and it can be helpful to understand how others have navigated challenges.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><strong>If you\u2019re comfortable, share your story.<\/strong> Infertility is common\u2014more common than you think. Chances are someone you know has gone through fertility treatment or is going through it. Talk to them about their experience, what they would recommend, and what they\u2019d do differently. You may find comfort in speaking to someone who \u201cgets it.\u201d You can also look to online support groups from <a href=\"https:\/\/resolve.org\/support\/find-a-support-group\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Resolve<\/a> or an employee resource group. If there isn\u2019t a resource group available, this may be the right time to start one.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Find the right provider.<\/strong> Be open, honest and vocal with your doctor. Be prepared and <a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/fertility-101\/frequently-asked-questions-during-a-fertility-journey\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">do your research<\/a> before your appointments. Trust your intuition and voice your frustration if things don\u2019t seem to be going the way you envisioned. The whole process can be intimidating, but ultimately, you and your doctor should be a team. Trust your gut on this one. It\u2019s likely you will both know if it is time to move in a different direction. If it doesn\u2019t feel right, it\u2019s okay to make a change.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Find your comfort zone at work.<\/strong> In the first few years, I did not share any information with my immediate boss or coworkers. It wasn\u2019t until we had a traumatic <a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/blog\/fertility-education\/ectopic-pregnancy\/\">ectopic pregnancy<\/a> that I spoke with my boss. This situation will be different for everyone, but I am thankful that my boss provided me the room I needed to heal physically and mentally. Sharing my experience really helped me become my own advocate for what I needed at work and not feel bashful asking for it. For more tips on how to handle fertility treatment at work, check out <a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/education\/female-infertility\/infertility-the-workplace-how-to-deal-in-the-9-5\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Infertility &amp; the Workplace: How to Deal in the 9-5<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Look into your company\u2019s fertility coverage. <\/strong>Your employer may provide some sort of benefit for fertility treatment. If you aren\u2019t comfortable asking your boss or HR lead, call your insurance carrier directly to ask. If there is no coverage, use this as an opportunity to advocate for change in your organization. We know that 65% of employers offering fertility coverage did <a href=\"https:\/\/progyny.com\/talktohr\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">so because an employee asked for it<\/a>. In fact, we can help you jump start this conversation.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>An infertility diagnosis is\u00a0physically,\u00a0financially, and emotionally draining.\u00a0And, even in the really tough moments, you can take back some control. Knowledge is power and you can be your own best advocate.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You\u00a0got this.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by Amanda Lesesne, Vice President, Business Development at Progyny For the last seven years, my husband and I have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":22908,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[223,250],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17414","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fertility-family-building","category-fertility-in-the-workplace"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Finding Your Voice: How to Be Your Own Fertility Advocate | Progyny<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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