Choosing a gestational surrogate is a deeply personal decision. You’re building a relationship with someone who will play a meaningful role in your family-building journey, and it’s natural to have questions about both the process and what that relationship may look like.

The questions below can help you understand whether your goals, values, and expectations sync with the surrogate. If you’re working with an agency, they may have a list of go-to questions to use, too.

Get to know the individual 

• What are your interests and hobbies? How do you like to spend your time? 

• How would you describe your personality? What values are most important to you? 

• What motivated you to become a surrogate? What are you most excited about, and are there any concerns you have about the process? 

• Do your family and friends support your decision to become a surrogate? 

Learn about their experience and medical history 

• Have you been a gestational surrogate before? If so, what was that experience like? 

• If you’ve had previous pregnancies, how were they medically and emotionally? How were the deliveries? 

• Are you willing and able to travel for surrogacy-related appointments or procedures, if needed? 

• If an embryo transfer is unsuccessful, would you be open to additional transfer attempts? 

• How many embryos are you comfortable transferring at one time, if allowed by the clinic? 

• What are your thoughts on selective reduction or pregnancy termination if medical complications arise? 

• Are you currently working with a surrogacy agency, legal counsel, or fertility clinic? 

Talk about expectations for the relationship 

• What kind of relationship are you hoping to have with me/us before, during, and after the surrogacy journey? 

• How would you like your family to be involved, if at all? What type of involvement do you want from me/us? 

• If you have children, how do you plan to talk with them about surrogacy? 

• What would you like me/us to share with our child about you as they grow up? 

• What expectations do you have of me/us throughout the process? 

• What would you like to know about me/us as we get to know one another? 

A final note 

Open, honest conversations early on can help build trust, clarify expectations, and create a more supportive experience for everyone involved. There’s no single “right” way to approach surrogacy — what matters most is finding a match that feels comfortable, respectful, and aligned for both you and your surrogate. 

If you have questions, Progyny is here for you. Please contact your Progyny Care Advocate for support. 

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Surrogacy is one way to grow your family. You may consider surrogacy if you have experienced infertility, have a medical reason you cannot carry a pregnancy, are part of the LGBTQ+ community, or you are planning to have a child as a single parent.  

What is surrogacy? 

Surrogacy is a process where another person, called the gestational carrier, carries a pregnancy for you. The child is usually not genetically related to the carrier. 

You will undergo in vitro fertilization (IVF) to create embryos using your own egg and sperm, or with the help of donor egg, donor sperm, or both. A fertility specialist will then transfer the embryo to the gestational carrier, who will carry the pregnancy. 

What are the costs? 

Surrogacy involves several fees. These may include: 

• Agency services, matching, and screening 

• Psychological evaluations 

• Legal services 

• Medical costs for you and the carrier, including IVF 

• Compensation for the gestational carrier 

• Insurance or surrogacy support services 

The average total cost of surrogacy in the United States is $100,000 to $150,000. It’s important to note that costs vary widely based on individual circumstances, location, and the specific services needed. 

Who is involved? 

Surrogacy includes a team of people who support different parts of the process. 

• Intended parent(s): You will parent and raise the child. You may be genetically related to the embryo. 
• Egg or sperm donor: You may use donor egg, donor sperm, or both. Donors can be known or anonymous. 
• Reproductive endocrinologist: This fertility specialist creates the embryos and performs the embryo transfer. 
• Attorneys: Each party has legal representation. Attorneys write the surrogacy contract and may manage escrow funds. 
• Surrogacy agency: An agency may support most of the process, including matching, screening, legal referrals, and emotional support. 
• Social workers or psychologists: They complete evaluations for the gestational carrier and the intended parent(s) and may offer ongoing support. 
• Gestational carrier: After screening and signing a contract, the gestational carrier receives a frozen embryo transfer. If pregnant, they receive routine prenatal care and stay in contact based on the agreement. 

Surrogacy includes many steps and decisions, and having the right support can help you navigate the process with confidence. 

If you have questions, Progyny is here for you. Please contact your PCA for support. 

Next article > Understanding the surrogacy process 

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Surrogacy is one way to grow your family. You may consider surrogacy if you have experienced infertility, have a medical reason you cannot carry a pregnancy, are part of the LGBTQ+ community, or you are planning to have a child as a single parent. The process can feel complex, so this guide walks you through each step. 

The surrogacy process 

1. Create embryos through in vitro fertilization (IVF) 

You will start at a fertility clinic to learn about IVF and begin the medical screening process. Tell your clinic that you plan to use a gestational carrier so they can complete the required testing. 

Your Progyny Care Advocate (PCA) can answer questions about IVF and the screening process. 

2. Choose a surrogacy agency or attorney 

A surrogacy agency may manage matching, screening, counseling, case management, legal support, and referrals. Both you and the gestational carrier will complete psychological evaluations, and each party will have separate legal counsel. 

Surrogacy laws differ by state. It’s helpful to work with someone who understands the laws where you live and where the birth will take place. Your fertility clinic may offer referrals. 

You may also work directly with a surrogacy attorney, who will handle the legal contract. An attorney may not provide the additional services an agency offers. 

You can ask the agency: 

• What do your fees include, and what is the payment timeline? 

• What insurance coverage is available for the gestational carrier? 

• How do you screen candidates, and who completes the evaluations? 

• How many intended parents or carriers have you matched in the last year? 

• What is your matching process like? 

When speaking with an attorney, you can ask: 

• How long have you worked in surrogacy and assisted reproductive technology? 

• In which states are you licensed? 

• If the surrogacy happens in another state, which state has legal jurisdiction? 

3. Match with a carrier and complete legal requirements 

Your agency can help you find a gestational carrier. Once matched, you will sign a legal agreement and complete any state-specific requirements. 

You may want to ask the carrier: 

• What were your previous pregnancies like? 

• Are you open to carrying one or more embryos? 

• What is your comfort level with selective reduction or ending a pregnancy if there are serious complications? 

• How would you like to stay in touch during the pregnancy and after birth? 

For a comprehensive list of questions, go to What to consider when choosing a surrogate

4. Embryo transfer and pregnancy 

After the contract is complete, the gestational carrier will take medication to prepare for the transfer. The reproductive endocrinologist will transfer a frozen embryo into their uterus. The procedure is brief and typically does not require anesthesia. 

After transfer, there is a two-week wait to confirm pregnancy. If the pregnancy test is negative, another embryo may be transferred. Many journeys include more than one attempt. If pregnant, the gestational carrier receives routine prenatal care. 

Surrogacy includes many steps and decisions, and having the right support can help you navigate the process with confidence. 

If you have questions, Progyny is here for you. Please contact your PCA for support. 

Disclaimer: The information provided by Progyny is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical guidance. 

The post Understanding the surrogacy process appeared first on Progyny.

Progyny’s inclusive fertility benefit supports all paths to parenthood. If you need assistance becoming pregnant with a donor egg, donor sperm, or a surrogate, you have options.

Let’s walk through those options at a high level. Then, you can speak with your reproductive endocrinologist and Progyny Care Advocate (PCA) to learn more about the fertility journey that may be right for you.

Using donor eggs or sperm to have a biological child

If you’re hoping to have a biological child as a single person or same-sex couple, assisted reproductive technology can help you.

In vitro fertilization (IVF)

With IVF, sperm fertilizes an egg to create an embryo in a lab. Then, the embryo is transferred to the uterus of the person carrying the pregnancy.

An embryo may be created by combining:

• Sperm with a donor egg
• An egg with donor sperm

If you are using your own eggs, the embryo may be transferred with fresh IVF, the process of transferring the embryo to your uterus 3 to 5 days after retrieving the eggs.

Another option for all people is frozen embryo transfer. With this, embryos are frozen and preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) can assess the genetic health of the embryos to select the best embryo for transfer. PGT leads to better chances of a successful pregnancy.

Using a surrogate to carry the pregnancy

The embryo can be transferred to a surrogate (gestational carrier) if you will not be carrying the pregnancy.

Your PCA can provide you with surrogacy information on what to expect, average costs, state-specific laws, donor services, and legal services.

Reciprocal IVF (co-maternity IVF)

Reciprocal IVF is a way for both partners to participate in the family building process. One partner uses their eggs, and the other carries the pregnancy.

• Eggs are retrieved from one partner and fertilized with donor sperm.
• After the embryos develop, they are frozen and tested.
• A high-quality embryo is selected and transferred into the other partner.

Intrauterine insemination (IUI)

With IUI, sperm is placed directly in the uterus using a thin tube. IUI is timed with your menstrual cycle, at the time when the ovary releases an egg. Sometimes, medicine is used to help the body produce eggs.

Preserving your fertility

Egg, sperm, and embryo freezing can be used for anyone who wants to preserve their fertility, including before gender-affirming treatment.

With frozen eggs, sperm, or embryos you can pursue the fertility treatment plan that’s right for you in the future — including IVF, IUI, and/or surrogacy.

Adopting a child

Your PCA can provide personalized support throughout the adoption process. These adoption specialists and licensed social workers can give expert guidance, including:

• Details on the process and average cost of adoption.
• Explanations of various processes and pathways.
• Resources to find legal advice for state-specific laws that impact your options.
• Specific counseling for LGBTQ+ individuals and couples.

Thinking it through

Your reproductive endocrinologist is there to walk you through all of this in detail. You can ask anything that’s on your mind. Your PCA is also here to talk about your options and help you get ready for your visits with your healthcare team.

Disclaimer: The information provided by Progyny is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical guidance.

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Adoption is a meaningful way to grow your family, and every journey is unique. While the process can feel overwhelming, knowing what to expect and getting accurate information can help you feel confident and prepared. 

Common misconceptions 

There are a few common misconceptions around adoption: 

• Adoption is only for infertile couples: Many people assume adoption is only an option when someone can’t have biological children. Adoption is chosen for many reasons, including personal, financial, or family circumstances. Singles, LGBTQ+ individuals, and people with children may also pursue adoption. 

• Adopted children are “damaged” or have severe behavioral issues: While some children may have experienced trauma, many are healthy and thriving. Supportive environments, early interventions, and informed parenting help children adjust and flourish. 

• Adoption always involves long waits: Wait times vary depending on the type of adoption, the child’s age, and the agency. Some families may be matched within months, while others may wait longer.  

Types of adoption 

It’s important to know the different paths to adoption and how they may align with your family’s needs: 

• Private domestic adoption: Adopting an infant through a licensed agency or attorney in the U.S. 

• International adoption: Adopting a child, often a toddler or older, from another country. Check whether the country is part of the Hague Adoption Convention, which provides safeguards for all parties. 

• Foster-to-adopt: Fostering a child in the U.S. with the possibility of adopting them later. 

Key considerations include the child’s age and health, prenatal history, state laws around termination of parental rights, wait times, openness of the adoption (open, semi-open, or closed), and estimated costs. Many states and agencies explicitly support LGBTQ+ adoption, though requirements vary. 

Choosing an adoption agency or attorney 

Finding the right adoption partner is critical for your experience and the child’s well-being. Ask questions such as: 

• Compliance and credentials: Is the agency fully licensed? Do they have a relationship with your state’s Department of Social Services? Is there a licensed attorney on staff? 

• Fees and costs: What is the total cost? Are payments due upfront or staggered? Are there fees for the home study? Is a full cost breakdown provided in writing? 

• Eligibility criteria: Do age, marital status, health history, family size, gender identity, or religious affiliation affect your eligibility? 

• The waitlist: How long is the typical wait? How is the list managed and updated? 

• Open vs. closed adoption: What level of openness do they offer, and how is communication facilitated between families? 

• Counseling and support: Are counseling services available for both adoptive and birth families? Are they licensed or certified? 

Additional tips: 

• Read reviews and speak with families who have used the agency. 

• Be cautious of promotional materials promising short timelines; adoption timelines vary. 

• Choose an agency or attorney you feel comfortable contacting outside regular hours, as adoption often requires flexibility. 

Adoption logistics 

Adoption involves paperwork, legal support, and practical steps. 

• There’s no standard timeline; matching may take months to years. 

• Documentation moves the process forward. Your agency will guide you. 

• A reliable legal team helps navigate challenges and ensures your rights and responsibilities are clear. 

• A home study includes interviews and a review of your living environment. This process usually takes several months and ensures the safety and fit of your home for a child. 

Costs 

Costs vary by adoption type. Domestic newborn adoptions can range from $30,000 to $60,000, while foster-to-adopt may involve lower or no fees. Talk with each agency about all costs, including upfront fees, ongoing expenses, and any coverage for birth parent costs. 

Preparing for your child’s arrival 

Once matched, preparation is both practical and emotional. 

• Check your home for safety and complete any required training (e.g., trauma-informed care or attachment strategies). 

• Coordinate parental leave with your employer. 

• Gather age-appropriate essentials such as clothing, bedding, and car seats. 

• Seek support from family, friends, or a counselor to navigate your transition to parenthood. 

Final thoughts 

Adoption is a deeply personal and rewarding journey. No two experiences are alike, but with accurate information, thoughtful planning, and the right support, you can move forward confidently. Take the time to choose the right agency, understand the process, and prepare both practically and emotionally for your growing family. 

If you have questions, Progyny is here for you. Please contact your Progyny Care Advocate for support.    

Disclaimer: The information provided by Progyny is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. Always consult a lawyer for legal guidance. 

The post Understanding the adoption process appeared first on Progyny.

Featuring:

• Karen Madsen, RN, BSN, Manager and Clinical Educator, Progyny
• Pam Hoehler, LCSW-C, Director of Placement Services, Adoptions Together
• Maria Villegas, LCSW, Co-Program Manager, Open Adoption and Family Services

Things to Consider Before Starting the Adoption Process

Timeline and Cost of Adoption

Impact of COVID-19

Green Flags When Looking for an Adoption Agency

Common Misconceptions Around Adoption

The post Navigating the different ways to adopt appeared first on Progyny.

November is National Adoption Awareness Month, so join us in celebrating all the wonderful families who have adopted and organizations who make the process possible. You can explore their stories by checking out the podcast episodes from This is Infertility. For additional information about the adoption process, check out Progyny’s Blog, Understanding the Adoption Process.

1. Episode 25: The Miracle of Adoption and Helping Others
2. Episode 58: There’s More Than One Way to Create a Family
3. Episode 61: Overcoming Failed Fertility Treatments: A Male’s Perspective

New episodes coming soon! Check out Progyny’s Podcast page for the latest episode.

• Debuts on November 8, 2021: Episode 120: Maybe a Baby? The Adoption Journey
• Debuts on November 22, 2021: Episode 121: Raising Cultures Through a Transracial Adoption

Still have a question? Contact your dedicated Patient Care Advocate.

The post Progyny Celebrates National Adoption Awareness Month appeared first on Progyny.

Part 1 of 4: Gene Pools, Genetics, and Choosing a Donor

In the first part of this interview, Dr. Georgia Witkin and Dr. David Tourgeman discuss the facts and myths about egg donation.

Part 2 of 4: Building the Baby with the Body and Bonding

In the second part of this interview, Dr. Georgia Witkin and Dr. David Tourgeman discuss how the baby is building its body from you and the importance of bonding with the baby.

Part 3 of 4: Process from Donor to IVF

In the third part of this interview, Dr. Georgia Witkin and Dr. David Tourgeman discuss what you need to know about the egg donation process and IVF treatment. 

Part 4 of 4: When it Works and When it Doesn’t

In the last part of this interview, Dr. Georgia Witkin and Dr. David Tourgeman discuss what to do if you’re successful with the fertility treatment and when you’re not.

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